It’s Thanksgiving week, and COVID-19, the Ross Gellar of 2020 events, has made Baltimore vs. Pittsburgh, the lone watchable game on Thanksgiving night, a big maybe. I’m gonna try to make these picks anyway.
Overall Record: 101-61
Ryan’s NFL Picks (2020): Week Twelve
Houston Texans @ Detroit Lions: Houston Texans
Matt Patricia’s Lions just got blown out by a XFL quarterback. Deshaun Watson is not a XFL quarterback. Texans win big.
Washington Football Team @ Dallas Cowboys: Washington Football Team
I don’t care how many watermelons they squash, the Cowboys suck. Washington’s defense is pretty good, and I think the offense is good enough to outscore the Boys.
Baltimore Ravens @ Pittsburgh Steelers: Pittsburgh Steelers
This would’ve been a great game, but it seems like half the Ravens have COVID. I’m not even sure if this game will happen Thanksgiving night, but if it does, I think the home-team Steelers might just win based on health alone.
Miami Dolphins @ New York Jets: Miami Dolphins
I can’t imagine a world where I’d pick the New York Jets in a game against NFL competition.
Arizona Cardinals @ New England Patriots: Arizona Cardinals
This is a tough one to call because the New England Patriots are so inconsistent. The Arizona Cardinals can’t afford to lose games against bad teams at this point in the season if they want to stay in the NFC West hunt, so I’m going to give them the nod here.
Carolina Panthers @ Minnesota Vikings: Minnesota Vikings
I was very tempted to pick Carolina, solely because the Vikings couldn’t beat the Dallas Cowboys last week. But if they can remember to feed the ball to Dalvin Cook, I think they’ll be alright.
Cleveland Browns @ Jacksonville Jaguars: Cleveland Browns
Both squads are banged up, but I don’t think I could even name five starters on this Jacksonville Jaguars team. The Browns have a good coach, a strong identity, and they’re gonna keep their playoff hopes alive with a win here.
Tennessee Titans @ Indianapolis Colts: Tennessee Titans
This is a tough pick. I’m not sure I’m even 50% sure about it. The Titans basically need to win this game to stay in the AFC South hunt, but riding the momentum of a big win over Baltimore, I think they can pull it off.
New York Giants @ Cincinnati Bengals: New York Giants
Without Joe Burrow, the irresponsibly coached Bengals will not only not win another game, but they don’t deserve to.
Los Angeles Chargers @ Buffalo Bills: Buffalo Bills
The. Los. Angeles. Chargers. Almost. Lost. To. The. New. York. Jets.
Seriously, that happened. They’re so bad at holding a lead that they almost blew a game to the worst team in NFL history. The Buffalo Bills are a playoff team, and they’ll destroy the Chargers, especially at home in the dreaded EST.
Las Vegas Raiders @ Atlanta Falcons: Las Vegas Raiders
For all their offensive talent, the Falcons just can’t seem to get it together. Maybe it’s coaching, maybe it’s the offensive line, and maybe Matt Ryan is just well-spoken Philip Rivers, but they are not putting it together this year. I think the Raiders are pissed off after losing a close one to Kansas City, and they’re locked in. Raiders win by at least ten.
San Francisco 49ers @ Los Angeles Rams: Los Angeles Rams
The 49ers are just so banged up, it’s hard to imagine them beating a good team this season. The Rams are fresh off a win against Tom Brady and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, and are looking to stay competitive in a wild, wild NFC West.
New Orleans Saints @ Denver Broncos: New Orleans Saints
The Denver Broncos suck. Drew Lock averages two picks a game going back to week three, with twice as many interceptions as touchdowns. Even with no-longer-a-tight-end-per-my-ESPN-fantasy-app Taysom Hill at quarterback, the Saints are gonna win big.
Kansas City Chiefs @ Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Kansas City Chiefs
With the exception of Las Vegas and Green Bay, Tampa Bay hasn’t been able to beat good teams. I think that trend continues with the Kansas City Chiefs.
Chicago Bears @ Green Bay Packers: Green Bay Packers
The Bears are banged up at quarterback, but even healthy, neither of them are very good. The Packers, however, are pretty exceptional at quarterback. I think the Packers might be vulnerable to physical teams, but the Bears aren’t that on offense.
Seattle Seahawks @ Philadelphia Eagles: Seattle Seahawks
Even on the road, I think the Seahawks should be able to steamroll the Eagles. People who need lyrics in front of them to sing think Wilson’s been playing badly because he hasn’t been able to go undefeated with players like DeeJay Dallas, but I promise you, he hasn’t.